- [Fade in on one of the Butsumetsu University cafeterias. Students
are milling about, and the buzz of general crowd noise and
shuffling of dishes can be heard. Cut to Kasuga, paying for his
lunch. He walks with his tray into the main dining area, then
stops as he recognizes someone. Moving up to the table, he sets
his tray down next to Saito's, breaking into the latter's
conversation with Kasamatsu.]
- Kasuga:
- Hey guys, how's it going?
- [Kasamatsu hurriedly scoops up some design specs he was reviewing
and stuffs them into his backpack.]
- Kasamatsu:
- [Smiling to cover his actions.] Kasuga-san! Perhaps
our local Ishihara Yujiro could add the voice of experience to
today's discussion.
- [Writer's note: Ishihara Yujiro (1934-87), top male actor in
Japan in the 1950s. Approximate Western equivalent: Sean
Connery.]
- Kasuga:
- Eh?
- Saito:
- [Picking at his food irritably as he shuffles the pages of
a computer printout.] Teruhiko-kun thinks that there's something
weird about me exchanging e-mail with Chun-Li.
- Kasuga:
- [Momentarily confused.] Chun...? Oh, right. Did you
ever get that confusion at the park straightened out?
- Saito:
- That was what I was just checking on. [Offers the
printout to Kasuga.] See, she wants to try to meet me again!
She's really a sweet girl.
- Kasamatsu:
- For a bunch of electrons. [Grabs the paper.] Lemme
see!
- Saito:
- Oi*!
*Hey
- Kasamatsu:
- [Reading the sheet.]
From chun-li@ugrad.edu.butsumetsu.ac.jp Wed Sept 21 22:42:34 1988
Date: Wed, 21 Sept 1988 22:42:34 +0900 (GMT)
Subject: Re: Thanks
To: baka@ugrad.cs.butsumetsu.ac.jp
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7BIT
Baka-chan,
I'm so sorry I missed you at the club the other night. I ran into
these strange guys who started harrassing me, so I couldn't stay
there very long. I hope you understand. You know, it's funny; we
both want to meet each other but luck doesn't seem to be on our
side. In a way I'm glad this is happening, when we finally do meet
it will make the moment that much more special.
Chun-Li
- Kasuga:
- I don't know a whole lot about these things, but isn't
"e-mail" just as good a way to meet someone? You really ought to
talk with her in person, though.
- Saito:
- [Uncertain.] Yeah...I guess so.
- Kasuga:
- Ah, Kasamatsu-san, before I forget...didn't you say you
had Kurosawa's "Ran" on tape?
- Kasamatsu:
- Sure, and a couple of his other films, too. Why do
you ask?
- Saito:
- Kasuga-san, would you please pass the salt?
- Kasuga:
- [Reaching for the shaker.] Nothing special...just a
little history project I've been thinking about. I'd like to
borrow it sometime.
- Saito:
- [Taking the proffered shaker.] San kyuu*.
*3-9 or a colloquial for "thank you"
- Kasamatsu:
- Sure...anyway, what I've been trying to tell Saito-kun
is that he should forget this Chun-Li girl. He's got a perfectly
good girlfriend in Yuko-san.
- Kasuga:
- True, but-- [Looks at the salt shaker as Saito begins to
pour.] Aaah! The lid--!
- [Saito looks up at Kasuga's yell as the lid pops off the salt
shaker, crowning his lunch with a large pile of white crystals.
He looks down at the tray, not quite believing his eyes.]
- Kasamatsu:
- [Snickering.] Ah, Saito-kun, is it any wonder you're
having women problems if you can't--hee hee hee--work a simple
salt shaker? If you could only see your face!
- [Kasamatsu stops as he dissolves into loud laughter. Kasuga looks
uncomfortable, remembering past pranks, as Saito begins to
tremble. Kasuga appears about to say something, but is
interrupted as Saito shoots out of his chair, smacking his palms
against the tabletop. An embarrassed, angry expression is on his
face.]
- Saito:
- [Almost yelling at Kasamatsu.] Look, you, I may not be
the world's greatest ladykiller, like Kasuga-san--
- Kasuga:
- Oi! Leave me out of this!
- Saito:
- [Not even pausing.] --but at least I HAVE a girlfriend!
Prove to me--
- Kasuga:
- [In a loud whisper.] People are staring!
- [Saito looks around and, seeing that Kasuga is right, sits down.]
- Saito:
- [In a slightly calmer tone.] Prove to me that YOU know so
much about women. All your big talk, yet I haven't seen you go on
a single date since we entered college.
- [Kasamatsu has long since stopped laughing. He looks at his
friend quizzically, then smiles as if nothing were wrong.]
- Kasamatsu:
- Is that all this is about? That I can't get a date?
- Saito:
- Exactly.
- [Kasamatsu quietly scans the cafeteria. His eyes abruptly lock on
Kimura, sitting by herself at a table across the room. Her nose
is buried in a book. His eyes narrow shrewdly.]
- Kasamatsu:
- [To himself.] An easy mark if ever I saw
one...this'll be child's play. [To Saito.] I'll bet you a
tempura dinner that I can get a date for tonight.
- Saito:
- [Taken aback.] You sound pretty sure of yourself. You're
on!
- Kasuga:
- [Not sure where to break into the conversation.] ...
- Kasamatsu:
- Okay then, it's a bet. [Standing.] Back in just a
minute; there's something I need to do.
- [He casually saunters around the table, then towards the
washrooms. Looking back, he sees that Saito and Kasuga have
stopped watching him, then doubles back towards Kimura. Once he
has walked out of earshot of the others, he lets out his breath in
a sigh and slumps his shoulders.]
- Kasamatsu:
- [To himself.] Baka*...now what do I do?
*Idiot
- [Cut to profile of Kimura, a dreamy expression on her face as she
finishes the book she is holding.]
- Kasamatsu:
- [Nervously.] Er, excuse me...
- [Kimura looks up. Kasamatsu is standing before her table, looking
about as nervous as he possibly can.]
- Kimura:
- Kasamatsu-san? Konnichi wa*!
*Hello (alternatively, "Good afternoon")
- [She flashes him a bubbly smile, still lost in her romantic
reverie.]
- Kasamatsu:
- [Stammering.] Umm, I-I-I was w-wondering...
- Kimura:
- [Still starry-eyed.] Hmmm?
- Kasamatsu:
- [Taking a deep breath.] ...would you like to go to
the movies with me tonight? I know it's--
- Kimura:
- [Smiling.] Un!
- Kasamatsu:
- [Continuing, blithely unaware.] --short notice and
all, but I thought I'd-- [He stops, confused.] Was that a "hai"?
- Kimura:
- [Nodding.] Hai!
- Kasamatsu:
- [Flustered.] I, well, er, who, what time should I
pick you up?
- Kimura:
- [Thinking.] Saa*...when's the movie?
*I don't know
- Kasamatsu:
- Eh? Oh, right, right, the movie, of course, right.
It's at 8; should I pick you up at 6:30 for dinner?
- Kimura:
- Okay!
- Kasamatsu:
- [Bowing as he backs away, bumping into chairs.] See
you then! Arigato*! Arigato! Arigato!
*Thank you
- [Kimura giggles, then smiles wistfully as she muses to herself.]
- Kimura:
- A date, huh?
- Kasamatsu:
- [Who has reappeared in front of Kimura's table.]
Err...
- Kimura:
- [Back to reality.] Huh?
- Kasamatsu:
- [Sheepishly.] Er...I need your address....
- [Cut to the other table, where Kasuga and Saito are engaged in
deep conversation. Their backs are to the rest of the cafeteria,
so they have witnessed none of the previous exchange.]
- Saito:
- Honestly, though, I think he pushes things too far! What
business is it of his who I go out with, anyway?
- Kasuga:
- You have to admit, though, he does have a point.
- Saito:
- What? Don't tell me you agree with that fool!
- Kasuga:
- Ask yourself this: if you ever do meet this "Chun-Li" in
person, what do you intend to do?
- Saito:
- [A worried expression on his face.] ...
- Kasuga:
- [Kindly.] And what are you going to tell Yuko-san?
- Saito:
- [Looking lost.] But... [Pointedly.] What about you,
Kasuga-san? How do you manage to juggle all those women?
- Kasuga:
- [Flustered.] Hold it! I don't ask them to hang around
me...it just kind of happens that way. [Images of Hikaru, Kimura,
and others fade in and out briefly over Kasuga's profile, while
the last image freezes for a moment before fading away.] Besides,
I only have eyes for Ayu--
- [He stops as Kasamatsu sits down, a dazed expression on his face.]
- Kasuga:
- Hey, where have you been?
- Kasamatsu:
- [Distant, slowly.] She said yes... [Focusing
slightly on Kasuga.] She said yes!
- Saito:
- What? Who?
- Kasamatsu:
- [Smiling.] Kimura-san...I'm going on a date with
Kimura-san.
- Kasuga and Saito:
- [Wide-eyed and slack-jawed with disbelief.]
...
- Kasuga:
- [To himself.] Kimura-san, kawaisou ni*...
*Poor, unfortunate
- [Cut to a kissaten, where girls are giggling in the background as
colorful commentary streams out of a radio speaker above the
table.]
- Dogman:
- Well, "Ronin-san", if you want the Dogman's advice, hang
in there. If she really hated you, she would've kicked you out of
the pad by now. Though with that coach guy hitting on
her...well...looks and money aren't everything--but they sure
help! Ha ha ha ha! Gambatte, ne*? Owwwwwwww! Meanwhile, for
the rest of you cool dogs, some more happening music coming your
way!
*Good luck
- [The two girls at the table, who are the Miyasato twins, are now
giggling furiously as they listen to the broadcast.]
- Yoko:
- I can't believe some of these guys! Where does Dogman dig
up these losers?
- Yuko:
- Beats me. [She looks momentarily distracted.] I knew I
shouldn't have let you talk me into that third coffee!
- [She hurries away, followed by Yoko's laughter. Outside the
window, Kimura stops, having noticed them at the table, then moves
away from the window.]
- [Meanwhile, at an apartment building elsewhere, Kasamatsu steps
out of an elevator carrying a small bag of groceries. He juggles
the bag as he unlocks the door to Apartment 47 and steps inside.]
- Kasamatsu:
- [To no one in particular.] Tadaima*!
*I'm home
- [He turns on the light, illuminating his apartment: one large
common room and a small kitchen area. The common room is in a
state of squalor: a futon in disarray, manga and technical designs
strewn about the floor, empty cup ramen. Two things are seemingly
unaffected by the mess: an entertainment center, with TV, VCR, and
unending rows of neatly organized tapes; and a desk, atop which
sits a personal computer. In the corner opposite the desk is a
covered bird cage.
Kasamatsu kicks off his shoes in the entryway, then walks into the
kitchen and puts some groceries into a little refrigerator.
Threading his way through the piles of junk, he boots up his
computer, then goes to a corner of the room and removes the cover
from a standing birdcage.]
- Kasamatsu:
- Hey, did you miss me?
- Baka:
- BAKA!
- Kasamatsu:
- [Grinning.] Sure, say what you like. YOU don't have
a date with a cute young lady tonight!
- Baka:
- [Agitated, flapping around the cage.] Bakabakabakabaka...
- Kasamatsu:
- Wait a second... [He opens the cage.] There you go.
- [Baka streaks out of the cage and swoops around the room, colliding against the walls as he goes.]
- Kasamatsu:
- Teme*! Careful of the posters!
*<Netiquette violator>
- [The parrot finally perches atop the computer monitor, cocking a
curious eye at the screen. Kasamatsu, meanwhile, has started a
word processing program.]
- Kasamatsu:
- [Typing.] "Red Ninja Journal -- 88.09.23
"Suddenly, I find myself with a Mission. Months of meticulous
preparation still cannot describe the nervousness I feel, about to
embark on a so-called 'date'. All my training will put itself to
the test this very evening. Women are mysterious and dangerous
beings, but even though my comrades-in-arms doubt that the Mission
will succeed, I feel confident that they will be proven wrong.
"Some new tricks in the Red Ninja Arsenal should come in quite
handy...."
- [Kasamatsu sits back, pausing. Baka leans down and appears to
consider the words on the screen for a moment, then bobs its head
and speaks.]
- Baka:
- Hentai*! SQUAWK!
*Pervert
- Kasamatsu:
- Urusai! Baka no baka*.
*Quiet! Baka, you idiot (also, "Idiot of idiots").
- Baka:
- Sukebe*! SQUAWK!
*Lech
- Kasamatsu:
- That's enough out of you!
- [He digs a paper sack out of the rubbish near his feet, then pulls
out a rice cracker and stuffs it in Baka's mouth. He looks back
at the computer screen, then saves the file and quits. In his
directory, there is a journal file for nearly every day. He moves
aside some more junk, and grabs a pile of papers and books.
Setting aside the top item (a paperback book called "Bachelor
Japan"), he turns his attention to a computer text printout. The
header on the printout reads "Handy Dating Tips". Kasamatsu scans
a section far down in the document which is heavily underlined.
He begins to read aloud.]
- Kasamatsu:
- "Women always appreciate men who can make them
laugh...." [He glances at his watch, then drops the printout.]
Oh no, I almost forgot!
- [He grabs Baka off the monitor, prompting a spray of cracker
crumbs and an outraged squawk, then stuffs the parrot back in the
cage.]
- Baka:
- [Nips at Kasamatsu's fingers as the cage is closed and
covered.] TEME!
- Kasamatsu:
- You'd better believe it. [Looking at his watch
again.] Kuso*, I'm pressed for time!
*<Netiquette violator>
- [Grabbing a light jacket, he stops to remove a small tissue-
wrapped object from his grocery bags, and sprints out the door.]
- [Back at the kissaten, Yoko is sipping her coffee. She starts a
bit as she hears a bubbly voice.]
- Kimura:
- Konnichi wa, Yoko-san!
- Yoko:
- Hey, don't surprise me like that! [Gesturing.] Go ahead,
sit.
- Kimura:
- [Sitting down.] Sorry; it's just that I saw you and
Yuko-san, and wanted to say hi.
- Yoko:
- Yeah, we were just listening to Dogman's show-- [Finally
realizing something.] Hey, how can you tell us apart? Most
people don't catch on that quick.
- Kimura:
- I used to babysit twin boys before we moved here; I think
it must be because of them. [She thinks for a second.] Then
again, it could be because of the ribbon Yuko-san always wears....
- Yoko:
- ...
- Yuko:
- [Returning.] Konnichi wa, Kimura-san!
- Kimura:
- [Smiling.] Konnichi wa! Yoko-san and I were just
chatting.
- [The girls talk about classes and guys for a bit, then Yuko and
Yoko wave Kimura to silence as Dogman comes back on.]
- Kimura:
- Eh? What's going on?
- Miyasato-tachi:
- Shhh!
- Dogman:
- Back to the show, young lovers! Owwwwwww! Now,
apologies to all the lovely young ladies who sent fan-mail to the
Dogman, but today is Guys' Day on Dogman's show. Once a month,
Dogman reads all the mail from the hound dogs out there who want
advice from the master. Dogman's address again, in case you
forgot, is--
- Kimura:
- What's Dogman?
- Yuko:
- He's a DJ who reads letters from people wanting love
advice.
- Yoko:
- He's so over the top! He's hilarious.
- Kimura:
- [Innocently.] Then are you waiting for your letters to
be read?
- [The twins face-fault.]
- Dogman:
- "--how can I bear to live with my first love, who is now
my brother's wife? Signed, Green With Envy." Whoa, Green, sounds
like some heavy stuff. Owwwww! Take the Dogman's advice and get
out of the house. Get into a dorm room or something, cause it's
uncool to dig another dog's babe. Best to put some distance
between you so you can get on with your life. Next letter!
- Yoko:
- [As Dogman continues his spiel.] Like WE have something in
common with losers like that? Our love lives aren't that bad!
- Ayukawa:
- [Walking up to the table.] Wasn't Dogman on at night
before? He's been handing out advice since I was in high school.
- Kimura:
- Madoka-san! Hi!
- Yuko:
- [As Ayukawa sits down.] He's so popular that they re-run
his show in the afternoon now. Good thing, too; I can't listen to
a midnight show with my study schedule.
- Kimura:
- [Barely containing her enthusiasm.] Oh! Madoka-san! I
wanted to tell you...I have a date tonight.
- Miyasato-tachi:
- [Suddenly very interested.] A date?
- Ayukawa:
- That's great! Who asked you out?
- Kimura:
- Kasamatsu-san! He asked me at lunch.
- [The twins face-fault again.]
- Yoko:
- Uso*!
*It's a lie (alternatively, "You're kidding")
- Yuko:
- Masaka*!
*No way
- Kimura:
- [Genuinely confused.] Madoka-san, what do they mean?
- Ayukawa:
- [Glancing warningly at the twins.] Be nice, you two.
- Yuko:
- But...
- Yoko:
- Kasamatsu-san?
- Miyasato-tachi:
- [Together.] That hentai?!
- Yoko:
- He's such a sukebe.
- Yuko:
- Really. Why would you ever date him?
- Kimura:
- [Her face falling rapidly.] He can't be as bad as
that...
- Yoko:
- Oh no? Remember the dog--
- Ayukawa:
- Chotto*, I think it's nice that Keiko-san's going out on
a date.
*Wait
- Kimura:
- [Almost pleading.] Ne*, Madoka-san, what do you think of
Kasamatsu-san?
*Say (alternatively, "tell me")
- Ayukawa:
- Eh? I think...you should stop worrying about other
people and just try to have a good time.
- Kimura:
- [Brightening.] Right! This'll be fun!
- Miyasato-tachi:
- [Eyes narrowed.] ...
- [The group breaks up, each going a different direction. Dogman's
broadcast continues in the background.]
- Dogman:
- "--I've just been watching helplessly as she looks to
many others to try to find the right guy, never finding the right
time to tell her how I really feel. What should I do? Signed,--"
- [Quick cut to a small portable radio on a desktop.]
- Dogman:
- "--Tongue-Tied." Well, here's what you do--
- [Katsu quickly switches the radio off as he hears a knock at his
door. He opens it to Kasamatsu's grinning face.]
- Kasamatsu:
- Oi! I wasn't sure I was going to make it in time.
Hope I didn't interrupt anything.
- Katsu:
- Nah, I caught that show last night. [Amused.] Besides,
it's not like *I'm* going anywhere.
- Kasamatsu:
- Maybe not, but I've got somewhere to be soon.
[Glances around furtively.] Do you have the item?
- Katsu:
- [Grabs a sealed vial off the desk.] Here. I just
finished it a little bit ago. [Stops just short of handing it
over.] Do you have the amount we agreed upon?
- Kasamatsu:
- [Whispers.] Give me the password!
- Katsu:
- [Disbelieving expression.] What?
- Kasamatsu:
- The password! How else do I know you're really you?
- Katsu:
- [Rolls his eyes, then half-heartedly.] Musume o miru
yori, haha o miyo.*
*Look at the mother instead of the daughter (Japanese proverb)
- Kasamatsu:
- [Whispers.] Nyobo to tatami wa atarashi ho ga yoi.*
[Digs in a pocket and pulls out two 1000-yen notes.] Here. Your
prices are pretty steep. No need to count it; it's all there.
*Wives and tatami are better when new (Japanese proverb)
- Katsu:
- [Pocketing the money.] As much as I hate selling out like
this, let me point out that you're not just going to be able to
order a batch from a catalog. Now, you're not going to be using
this stuff in classrooms, are you? I don't want it traced back to
me.
- Kasamatsu:
- Do I look that stupid? [Pauses.] Never mind. Don't
worry, it's strictly for private use. [Looks at the vial
suspiciously.] How do I know it's the real thing?
- Katsu:
- Go ahead, open it.
- [Kasamatsu unscrews the top of the vial, then staggers back as the
stench reaches him. Katsu, off to one side, discreetly holds his
nose as Kasamatsu reseals the vial.]
- Kasamatsu:
- Phew! I'm convinced. What did you say it was called
again?
- Katsu:
- Putrescine. It's a compound secreted by the bacteria that
decompose corpses. You should probably dilute it before using it.
- Kasamatsu:
- No kidding. That's pretty foul stuff. [Grins.] I
have BIG plans for this!
- Katsu:
- I DON'T want to know. You be really careful with that,
now! [Sighs.] I can't believe what college tuition is forcing me
to do.
- Kasamatsu:
- Thanks, pal. Ja*!
*Later
- [He leaves, and Katsu stares at the closed door for several
moments before moving. He grabs a squeeze bottle labelled
"Acetone" from a shelf, then kneels down and wrestles a large jug
from under his lab bench. He unstoppers the jug, and uses the
acetone to clean his glassware, dumping the waste into the jug.]
- Katsu:
- [To himself.] I hope he's not going to do anything
stupid.
- [A burbling noise causes him to raise his head. He stares at the
jug, then at the flask in his hand, then back at the jug, on which
is a neatly-lettered label: "Inorganic Waste Only". He scoops up
the glass stopper and jams it into the mouth of the jug.]
- Katsu:
- Shimatta*!
*Oh, no!
- [The stopper pops out explosively, bouncing off the ceiling. A
dingy froth overflows the jug, and a greenish-grey cloud of smoke
emerges. Cut to outside of boarding house; Katsu's window is
thrown open suddenly, allowing a huge cloud of smoke to billow
forth.]
- Katsu:
- [Coughing; resignedly.] Wonderful...
- [COMMERCIAL BREAK.]
- [FADE IN on a mountainside terrace. Several people are seated at
outdoor tables, conversing and sipping from cups of coffee.]
- Announcer:
- [Voice-over.] Here at the world famous Bashitarlle
Coffeehouse and Pancake Restaurant, we've secretly replaced the
legendary Shizuma Drive with new Vogler's Crystals. Let's see if
anyone can tell the difference.
- [Cut to a gloved hand removing an Anti-Shizuma Drive from a black
attache case, and locking it into a mechanism next to two
identical others.]
- External shot:
- [A huge globe of darkness explodes outwards,
enveloping the countryside and plunging it into blackness.
Maniacal laughter can be heard over the explosion. An Anti-
Shizuma Drive fades into the foreground as, in the background, the
restaurant slowly sinks into a crater.]
- Announcer:
- [Voice-over.] Vogler's Crystals. Now available in
new "Beautiful Night" blend!
- [Writer's note: Standard Disclaimer.]
- [END COMMERCIAL BREAK.]
- [Fade in to the Kimura household, where Keiko is bustling about,
finishing her preparations for her date. Her mother, Akiko,
hovers like a fretful hen, as Keiko puts on earrings and
straightens her clothing. Keiko's father, Masaki, watches with
equal apprehension from the living room.]
- Akiko:
- [Exasperated.] Keiko, you're SURE that this is what you
want? Did I make it clear that you could ask for ANYTHING?
- Kimura:
- [Sighing.] Okaasan*, all I want is a couple of extra
hours on my curfew for my date tonight. That's all.
*Mother
- Akiko:
- [To Masaki.] Anata*, speak with your daughter!
*Dear (used by wives to husbands)
- Masaki:
- [Meekly.] But, you were the one who promised her
anything she wanted after the dean gave her such high praise for
her presentation.
- Akiko:
- [Glaring at Masaki.] You are NOT helping matters! [To
Keiko.] You didn't tell me WHY you want the extra time.
- Keiko:
- Kasamatsu-san is taking me to dinner and a movie, so I
thought we could go somewhere and talk after the movie...to find
out more about each other.
- Masaki:
- [Pulls out his handkerchief and sniffs.] Kawaisou na
Keiko...!
- Akiko:
- [To Keiko.] I'll find out everything you need to know
about him as soon as he-- [She is interrupted by the doorbell
ringing.]
- Keiko:
- [Clapping her hands together.] Ya-ho! He's here!
- [Akiko walks over and opens the door. Kasamatsu looks up, and is
frozen by her icy glare. He quickly hides his proffered hand and
removes the joy buzzer, then sticks it back out, where it is
summarily ignored.]
- Akiko:
- [Coldly.] You must be Kasamatsu-san. Come in.
- Kasamatsu:
- [To himself.] Eep...no sense of humor.
- Masaki:
- [Pleadingly.] Promise me you'll take good care of our
little--
- Akiko:
- [Interrupting.] Before you leave with my daughter, there
are some ground rules. First, have her home by 11:00--
- Keiko:
- [Interrupting; pleadingly.] Okaasan!
- Akiko:
- [Grudgingly.] --by 1:00. Don't try anything strange with
her--and I WILL know. Now, I have some questions for you: What
are you studying? What are your intentions toward my daughter?
What do you plan on doing after you graduate?
- Kasamatsu:
- [Intimidated, but calm.] 1:00, ma'am, understood. My
major is Engineering. I hope to get to know your daughter on this
date, so we can both decide if we want to date again. I'm still
just a first-year student--
- Keiko:
- [Grabbing Kasamatsu's arm.] Let's go! We don't want to
be late! [Whispering.] How can you stay so calm?
- Kasamatsu:
- Uhh...hai. [Whispering back.] Years of practice at
ducking authority. Please tell me I won't have to do that again.
- Keiko:
- [Giggles; then, to her parents.] Bye, okaasan, otoosan*!
I'll be back later! [They leave.]
*Father
- Akiko:
- [After a moment, to Masaki.] Grab your coat. We're going
to follow them.
- Masaki:
- I-I don't think we should...
- Akiko:
- [Glaring at him.] What did you say?
- Masaki:
- N-now, okaasan, remember what happened last time we tried
following her around? Besides, she's got to grow up sometime.
[Sniffs.] My poor baby girl....
- Akiko:
- Hmph. I suppose you're right. [Sighs.] Let's wait up
for them instead.
- [Cut to the interior of Room 4 at the boarding house.]
- Katsu:
- [Pounding on the door from outside.] Tanaka-san!
[Coughs.] There's been a chemical accident; we need to leave!
- Tanaka:
- [Listening.] How...serendipitous. [Turning to his
guest.] I trust, then, that you understand your instructions?
- Ginga:
- I am to search the room, and provide an analysis of what I
discover there.
- Tanaka:
- Precisely. But not a single item out of its proper
place.
- Ginga:
- [Sniffs.] I AM a professional.
- Tanaka:
- I did not mean to suggest otherwise. Take careful note
of anything you find which is related to the young lady, and you
will be suitably compensated.
- Ginga:
- [Performing a seated bow.] You honor me.
- Tanaka:
- [Handing him a breathing mask.] I believe you will
require this. I must now join the others, for...appearance's
sake.
- [He stands and slips out of the room, delicately holding a
handkerchief over his nose and mouth. In the hall, he nearly
bumps into Kasuga.]
- Tanaka:
- [Solicitously.] Ah, Kasuga-san, I trust that the evening
finds you well?
- Kasuga:
- [Coughing.] Haa...about as well as can be expected.
- Tanaka:
- Indeed. Let us make haste; the air grows fouler by the
second.
- [He guides Kasuga down the stairs. A minute or so later, Ginga
leaves Room 4 wearing the breathing mask, and slips quietly into
Room 5.
Outside of the boarding house, Fujimoto finishes hanging her
sheets on the drying line and is about to head back inside when
she stops and sniffs the air. A moment later, she watches with a
knowing expression as she watches Eiji, Yoko, Yuko and Katsu come
running out of the house gagging and holding their noses. Kasuga
stumbles out a moment later, and Tanaka walks behind, still
gingerly holding his handkerchief over his mouth.]
- Eiji:
- [Barely manages to speak coherently.] Wh-what the hell is
that?!?
- Katsu:
- [Embarrassed expression behind a face filter.] Ahh...an
exothermic reaction between inorganic waste and putrescin--
- Miyasato-tachi:
- [Holding their noses and covering their
mouths.] Urusee*!
*Shut up!
- Kasuga:
- [Holding his nose.] What were you doing with something
so smelly?
- Fujimoto:
- You're very fortunate Egami-san is away for his real
estate trip. If he were here, he'd probably dock you 2000 yen.
- Katsu:
- [Nervously, then claps his hands palm-to-palm.]
Ah...could we please keep that secret?
- Yoko:
- [Extortingly.] Well...if you're going to have to pay anyw-
-
- Fujimoto:
- [Gently but meaningfully.] <A-hem!>
- Yuko:
- [Interrupts Yoko.] Ah...sure we can!
- Eiji:
- Okaasan, I'm missing TV!
- Fujimoto:
- You're supposed to be studying.
- Eiji:
- ...
- Fujimoto:
- [To everyone else.] I guess the house
is...uninhabitable for the time being. I'll try and air it out
for tonight. If there is anything you could do until then, I'm
sure we'll all come out of this with no problems.
- Kasuga:
- [To himself.] Guess I could call Ayukawa and see what
she's doing. I still need to talk to her about some things.
- Yuko:
- Since this idiot [Glares at Katsu.] has driven us out of
the house, I'm gonna go down to the computer lab and see if Saito
wants to do anything tonight.
- Yoko:
- I'd better come along. [Cracks knuckles.] You don't know
if that hentai boyfriend of yours would try anything strange.
Besides, [Smiling a little.] I want to check my e-mail.
- Tanaka:
- I shall also take my leave. [Bowing.] Pardon me.
- Fujimoto:
- [To Katsu.] Well, unless you'd like to help with
airing out the house....
- Katsu:
- No, that's okay...I'm going to take a walk to clear my
head.
- Fujimoto:
- All right. The house should be ready in a few hours.
See you later!
- [Clucking her tongue softly, she gathers her laundry and heads
inside. She enters each of the first-floor rooms in turn, opening
the windows and leaving the doors propped open to air out the
house. She finishes the first floor and starts up the stairs to
the second.
On the second floor, Ginga is leaving Kasuga's room, and carefully
closes the door behind him. He is about to go downstairs and
leave, when he hears approaching footsteps. Startled, he looks
for a place to hide. Fujimoto appears at the top of the stairs,
and gasps in surprise as she sees the prowler.]
- Ginga:
- [Muttering.] Kuso!
- Fujimoto:
- Stop! What are you doing?
- [He lunges forward, pushing Fujimoto roughly onto the floor as he
races downstairs and escapes. When it becomes clear that the man
has left, Fujimoto pulls herself up, brushes off her clothing, and
hurries downstairs to use the phone.
Meanwhile, inside a nearby pasta restaurant. Kasamatsu and Kimura
have just been seated and handed menus by the waiter.]
- Kasamatsu:
- I hope this is all right. I tried to find a place
close enough to the theater.
- Kimura:
- [Smiling.] No, this is perfect.
- [Kasamatsu nervously returns the smile. The two of them sit in
silence for a moment, Kimura beginning to fidget as Kasamatsu
desperately thinks of something to break the ice. At a loss, he
rummages in his backpack.]
- Kimura:
- What's in the pack? I was wondering why you brought it.
- Kasamatsu:
- You never know when it'll be useful. One second...
- [He pulls out something unseen, then squeezes a bulb in his left
hand, which causes the attached rubber frog to leap at Kimura from
his right. She starts in surprise, then laughs.]
- Kimura:
- Kyaa! Kawaii*! Where did you get it?
*How cute
- Kasamatsu:
- Some guy in the park traded it to me for a
takoyaki*.... He said something about not needing it now that the
tutoring was over.
*Breaded octopus on a stick
- Kimura:
- [Giggling.] How neat! [She plays with the frog a
little.]
- Kasamatsu:
- [To himself.] It's working! She's having a good
time. [Glances sidelong at Kimura.] She's really cute when she
laughs....
- [They talk and laugh a while longer. Kimura excuses herself.
After she has gone, Kasamatsu pulls a drinking glass from his
backpack, dumps Kimura's water into it, wipes the new glass, and
hides the original. Kimura returns shortly afterwards.]
- Kimura:
- Sorry about that.
- Kasamatsu:
- [Smiling.] No problem. So, what were you saying
about the Dean's review?
- Kimura:
- [Reaches for her glass.] Oh, right! I'm supposed to
finish out the current term, then they'll-- Ara*?
*Oh my
- [She stops as she feels a thin trickle of water from her glass
into her lap, then quickly sets the glass on the table.]
- Kimura:
- [Mops at the spill with her napkin.] Can you call the
waiter? I think this glass is leaking.
- Kasamatsu:
- [Chuckling.] No, that's one of mine.
- Kimura:
- [Confused.] One of yours? What do you mean?
- Kasamatsu:
- It's a dribble glass. I thought you might get a laugh
out of it.
- Kimura:
- ...
- [The awkward pause is broken as the waiter brings their meals, and
their conversation slowly, tentatively resumes.]
- [Cut to the living room of Ayukawa's apartment. Ayukawa is leafing
through a textbook as the doorbell rings. She gets up to answer
it.]
- Ayukawa:
- Kasuga-kun! Come in.
- Kasuga:
- [Looking around nervously.] Your roommate's not here, is
she?
- Ayukawa:
- No, she's working late. [Concerned.] Again.
- Kasuga:
- [Relieved.] That's great; I didn't want to have her
yelling at me again.
- Ayukawa:
- [Slapping Kasuga's shoulder playfully.] Come on, she's
not going to hold a grudge this long! Besides, it all turned out
all right.
- Kasuga:
- [Rubbing the back of his head.] I guess so.
- [They sit down and start talking about classes and schoolwork.
Ayukawa pours them both some juice, then digs out a bottle of
brandy.]
- Kasuga:
- [Worried.] Do you really think we should drink?
- Ayukawa:
- I'll keep an eye on how much we drink. [Smiles.] Don't
worry. Besides, it's been a while since we could talk like this.
- Kasuga:
- [Reassured.] True. All right then, go for it!
- [Ayukawa pours a little of the alcohol into their cups. The main
window of the apartment reflects them as they continue to talk.]
- [Cut to a glass-enclosed movie poster. On it are heroes in
dramatic poses, armored battle suits, spacecraft, etc. The
movie's name, which is in very tiny type near the top of the
poster, is "Remember the Superdimensional City Fortress Hunters of
Love". In front of the movie theater where this poster is
displayed, Kasamatsu and Kimura are waiting in line to enter.]
- Kimura:
- Are you sure this is the right movie?
- Kasamatsu:
- Oh, don't worry, it'll be great! I've seen it seven
times already.
- Kimura:
- [Uncomfortable, trying not to offend.] I was thinking of
something a little more...romantic.
- Kasamatsu:
- [Oblivious.] This's got something for everybody--
action, adventure, romance, mecha...
- Kimura:
- [Not reassured.] ...
- [Later, inside the theater, Kasamatsu and Kimura have just found
their seats.]
- Kasamatsu:
- I'm going to grab some popcorn. Do you want anything?
- Kimura:
- [Tentatively.] Could you get me a small cola?
- Kasamatsu:
- No problem. One thing first...
- [He opens his backpack and pulls out a plastic prop: an overturned
drink cup, with popcorn embedded in the soda spill.]
- Kimura:
- [Bemused.] What's that for?
- Kasamatsu:
- I use it as a seat saver. Be right back!
- [He places the prop on his seat, where it rests perfectly. Kimura
breaks into giggles as he leaves.]
- Kimura:
- [Smiling to herself.] This doesn't seem so bad after
all...
- [Cut to Katsu wandering through a downtown park district, looking
rather downtrodden. All around him, "discreet" young lovers
embrace under trees and on benches. Trying hard not to look
around him, he pulls up the collar of his jacket and lets out a
heavy sigh.]
- [Cut to the movie theater, where the film has already begun. On
screen, a group of heroes fights valiantly as they are menaced by
an enormous insectoid robot. Kasamatsu digs in his pack, pulling
out a large rubber spider on a string, which he dangles in the
face of the young woman in front of him.]
- Woman:
- Kyaaaaaa!
- Woman's date:
- [Standing to his full six-foot height.] Kono
yaro*--!
*<Netiquette violator>
- Kasamatsu:
- Ah, sorry, sorry! I'm putting it away now, see?
- Woman's date:
- [Mutters as he sits back down.] Teme...
- [The woman glares back at Kasamatsu, and Kimura gives her an
apologetic look, staring at Kasamatsu strangely. He turns to her
and gives her an ingratiating smile.]
- Kasamatsu:
- Guess some people can't take a joke, huh? [Suddenly
gesturing at the screen.] Here, here, this is one of my favorite
parts!
- [Kimura looks at the screen. The heroes are lined up on the deck
of their space cruiser, ready to take flight in their fighter
ships and engage the enemy. Their friends and crewmates are
seeing them off in a rather emotional scene.
The camera focuses on a curly-haired man in his twenties, pleading
with a departing female pilot.]
- Man:
- Jadzia, please! You don't have to do this! Let me go
instead.
- Jadzia:
- Julian, that's very sweet, but you don't have the fighter
training I do.
- Julian:
- [Desperately.] But I love you!
- Jadzia:
- [Smiling.] I know.
- [Jadzia climbs into her ship. All the fighters launch, and the
gathered throng disperses...except for a beautiful young woman
with short, dark hair, tears streaming down her face as she
watches the receding lights of the ships.]
- Ushiko:
- Umao-san...please come back to me safely!
- [Back in the theater, few are unaffected by the scene's emotional
manipulation. Kimura also has tears streaming down her face.]
- Kimura:
- Ohhh...that's so beautiful. Don't you think so,
Kasamatsu-san? Ara...?
- [She leans over as if to rest her head on his shoulder, then
realizes he isn't there. She looks around the theater for him,
then spots him coming down the aisle and plopping into his seat.]
- Kasamatsu:
- [Grinning apologetically.] Sorry, I had to use the
washroom.
- Kimura:
- [Brow furrowing.] ...
- [Cut to Ayukawa's apartment, where Kasuga and Ayukawa are still
laughing and talking.]
- Kasuga:
- Oh, you heard about it too?
- Ayukawa:
- I ran into Keiko-san and the twins this afternoon. She
sounded really excited about the date.
- Kasuga:
- Sure, but I hope she knows what she's getting herself
into.
- Ayukawa:
- [Mock-exasperated.] Not you, too!
- Kasuga:
- Huh? What'd I say?
- Ayukawa:
- The twins were coming down pretty hard on Keiko-san
earlier. I don't think they were being very fair.
- Kasuga:
- Even so...
- Ayukawa:
- Even so, don't you think Kasamatsu-san deserves the
benefit of the doubt?
- Kasuga:
- I guess so. Looks like we'll have to pry the details out
of them tomorrow, eh?
- [Ayukawa looks at him curiously, then starts laughing. Kasuga
joins her, until Ayukawa trails off, noticing that their glasses
are empty. She picks up the pitcher of juice.]
- Ayukawa:
- Can I refill your-- ah!
- [Kasuga's hand, reaching for the glass, jostles the bottle,
causing juice to spill on the table, and all over Kasuga's arm and
leg.]
- Ayukawa:
- Sorry! Let me get you a towel.
- Kasuga:
- Don't worry about it, it was all my fault.
- [He pulls a white handkerchief out of his shirt pocket. A red
handkerchief is also tugged out, and falls unnoticed to the
ground. He wipes his arm off as Ayukawa notices the red
handkerchief and picks it up. She examines it thoroughly,
fascinated by its design.]
- Ayukawa:
- What a beautiful handkerchief! Where did you get it?
- Kasuga:
- [Looks surprised as he realizes what Ayukawa is holding,
then gently takes the handkerchief from Ayukawa. He almost
reverently fingers the delicate silk as he recalls.] This was a
gift...from a very special woman I met... [He stops, entranced by
the intricate embroidered crane pattern] a long...time...ago.
- [Ayukawa, whose face briefly registered jealousy when Kasuga
mentioned "a very special woman", looks over at Kasuga with
concern, noting his haunted expression.]
- Ayukawa:
- Kasuga-kun...daijobu*?
*Are you all right?
- [As she watches him, tears pool near the corners of his eyes. A
lone tear trickles down his cheek. More concerned, she lightly
touches his shoulder.]
- Ayukawa:
- Kasuga-kun?
- Kasuga Narration:
- It was as if I was reliving the entire
experience. I could clearly picture Lady Fujiwara in my mind, and
the desperate battle with Akumu...the carnage I had witnessed, and
the knowledge that all those I had met on my journey were long ago
turned to dust. All of it still weighed heavy on my mind, and I
had been unable to tell anyone about it. Until now....
- Kasuga:
- Ayukawa?
- Ayukawa:
- H-hai?
- Kasuga:
- [Speaking slowly, in a daze.] How much...do you
remember... about the time Grandpa sent you back in time to find
me?
- Kasuga Narration:
- All of it poured out of me in one long
stream...explaining the timeslips, describing the past I had
fallen into, and--and my part in causing a man's death. Through
it all, Ayukawa listened to me, and her soft words of comfort and
cradling arms did much to ease my troubled mind. She understood;
if not all I had experienced, then its effect on me...her soothing
manner and reasoning arguments helped me cope with the experience.
After all of that...and the small amount of alcohol I had
drunk...I was exhausted.
- [Some time later, Ayukawa sits in a chair, thinking, and watching
Kasuga's sleeping form on the couch. She rises, walks over to
him, and pulls a blanket over his shoulders. Looking down at his
face, she caresses his hair softly.]
- Ayukawa:
- [To herself.] Kawaisou na Kasuga-kun... [She picks up
her glass and finishes it.] I never got a chance to talk with you
about Hayashibara-san. [Whispering.] Kasuga-kun...I love you.
- [She switches off the light, sitting back down, as if standing
guard over Kasuga. After a while, she too falls asleep.]
- [Cut to the movie theater. Kimura and Kasamatsu are still
watching the film, which is nearing its end. Things are a bit
more peaceable than before, and Kimura actually watches the movie
with mild interest. She occasionally glances over at Kasamatsu,
smiling in wonderment as she sees the intense emotions play across
his face, evoked by the movie's powerful scenes.
Kasamatsu suddenly remembers something, and once again goes
digging in his backpack. He finds what he was searching for, but
as he pulls out the tissue-wrapped object, a familiar-looking
glass vial slips out of the opening and smashes open on the floor
of the theater.]
- Kasamatsu:
- Aah--!
- [Kimura looks at him, surprised by his outburst, then notices, as
do many of the other patrons, the pervasive, cloying stench
spreading through the theater. Many people cough and wheeze as
they struggle from their seats and dash to the exits. Tears well
up in Kimura's eyes, and a crushed look of disappointment falls
across her face. She stands, grabbing her coat.]
- Kimura:
- [Not quite crying.] Hidoi*! I can't believe you'd--
you'd--
*How awful
- [She turns and runs out of the theater, swallowed by the rest of
the mob.]
- Kasamatsu:
- Kimura-san! Wait! It was an accident. An
accident...
- [He looks forlornly at the object in his hand. The tissue paper
has fallen away from the single red rose he purchased earlier. On the movie screen, the commander of the heroes gives one of his
crew a severe dressing-down.]
- Commander:
- One of these days, your childish pranks are going to
really hurt someone!
- [Kasamatsu turns and shuffles out of the theater.]
- [Cut to Kimura walking along a quiet street, not far from the
theater. Her head is bowed, and her eyes still seem sad. Despite
the coat she wears, she shivers from the cold breeze.
A couple blocks away, at the top of a short hill, Katsu approaches
from the other direction, affecting a depressed demeanor similar
to Kimura's. He stops short as he looks down the hill, noticing
the young woman as she passes under a street lamp.]
- Katsu:
- Huh? Kimura-san...? [Louder, waving as he walks swiftly
down the hill.] Kimura-san!
- Kimura:
- [Looking up in surprise.] Katsu-san? What are you doing
here?
- Katsu:
- [Embarrassed.] It's a long story.... What about you?
[Noticing that Kimura is dressed up.] Were you on a date?
- Kimura:
- [Sadly.] Haa...
- Katsu:
- [Sees the expression on Kimura's face.] Listen, do you
want to talk about it? [He fingers the two 1000-yen notes in his
pocket.] There's a kissaten near here, I'll buy us some coffee.
- Kimura:
- [Shaking herself to dispel the gloom.] That sounds nice.
- [The two of them walk back up the hill in silence. Later, at an
all-night kissaten, Kimura and Katsu sip at cups of coffee as they
talk.]
- Katsu:
- Kasamatsu-san, huh? He didn't try anything crude, did he?
- Kimura:
- [Slowly.] No...in fact, he was a perfect
gentleman...except...no, maybe I'm overreacting.
- Katsu:
- About what?
- Kimura:
- Lots of little things. Like the dribble glass at
dinner....
- Katsu:
- Uso! He used a dribble glass during a dinner date?! Then
again, that does kind of sound like his style.
- Kimura:
- Once in a while, I thought I was having a wonderful
night...then something else would happen, and I didn't know why I
was there in the first place.
- Katsu:
- Maybe he just has a hard time relating to people. His
pranks aren't meant to be taken seriously, but they're probably
one of the few ways he knows how to express himself.
- Kimura:
- I never thought of it like that.
- Katsu:
- [Smiles ruefully.] Let's just say I know what shyness is
like.
- Kimura:
- You never did tell me what you were doing out so late.
- Katsu:
- [Sheepishly.] Well, er...I had a bit of an accident in
the lab...no one was hurt, but we had to evacuate the house for a
while. Everything's probably back to normal by now.
- Kimura:
- That's good. I'm glad you're okay.
- Katsu:
- [Startled by her words.] Umm...thanks.
- Kimura:
- [Wrinkles her nose.] What's that smell? [Sniffs her
coat; dismayed.] Oh no, it must be in my clothes!
- Katsu:
- [Over Kimura's words.] It's probably from the lab
accident. It must be in my clothes.
- Kimura and Katsu:
- [Simultaneously.] What do you mean, in YOUR
clothes?
- Kimura:
- Kasamatsu-san set off a stink bomb in the
theater...that's why I left.
- Katsu:
- [To himself, aloud.] Stink bomb? He couldn't have been
that stupid! [To Kimura.] Did you see him playing with a little
glass vial?
- Kimura:
- I thought I heard some glass breaking....
- Katsu:
- [Musing.] Then he probably didn't do it intentionally.
That could've brought him real trouble. See, this is all very
embarrassing...Kasamatsu-san asked for my help with a prank, which
involved a particularly odious chemical compound....
- Kimura:
- Hidoi! What did you help him with such a thing for?
- Katsu:
- [Surveys their table.] Apparently, for four cups of
coffee, and... [Smiles tentatively at Kimura.] and some very
good company.
- [Kimura stares at him uncomprehendingly for a moment, then breaks
out in a giggling fit. Katsu laughs along with her. The tension
of the moment is dissolved, and they order two more cups of coffee
as they continue talking.]
- [Cut to Kasamatsu's apartment. Kasamatsu arrives home, switching
on the lights.]
- Kasamatsu:
- [Despondent, to no one in particular.] Tadaima...
- [He lifts the cover from the parrot cage, then slumps onto his
futon.]
- Baka:
- Kono BAKAYARO*!
*<Netiquette violator>
- Kasamatsu:
- [Sighing heavily.] Tell me about it.
- [He sits on the futon for several minutes, then lets Baka out of
the cage and boots up his computer. He enters the word processing
program again.]
- Kasamatsu:
- [Typing.] "Red Ninja Journal--88.09.23"
- [He stares at the first line for a long moment, then slowly
deletes the entire line and starts over.]
- Kasamatsu:
- [Typing.] "Journal of Kasamatsu Teruhiko--88.09.23
"Tonight I really screwed things up. I thought I was doing the
right things to make Kimura laugh, but everything I did seemed to
fall apart. She must despise me. I have to explain to her that
it was an accident...well, that last part was, anyway...do my
pranks really come across that way to others?"
- [Fade to black as he continues typing away.]
- [Fade in to a Mathematics lecture hall the next morning at B.U.
Kasamatsu walks in and sees Kimura sitting near the middle of the
hall. He sits down next to her as the lecture begins.]
- Kasamatsu:
- Uh...Kimura-san?
- Another student:
- Shh! Pay attention to the lecture!
- Kasamatsu:
- [Sheepishly.] Haa...
- [He looks over at Kimura, but she is doodling idly in her
notebook. He writes and hands a quick message to her.]
- Kasamatsu's note:
- I'm sorry about what happened last night. I
realize I wasn't on my best behavior, and I'd understand it if you
hated me.
- [Kimura reads the note and composes a reply, then passes it back.]
- Kimura's note:
- [Accompanied by a doodle of a dancing panda.]
Really, I'm not mad! I'm sorry I ran out on you so suddenly. You
shouldn't be so hard on yourself.
- Kasamatsu's note:
- Would you let me make it up to you with another
date?
- Kimura's note:
- [With a smiling group of flowers.] That's
probably not a good idea...we can still be friends, though, ne?
- Kasamatsu:
- [Whispering as he reads the note.] Hai... [To
himself, sorrowfully.] I could have understood it if she were
angry...but I don't know how to handle this boundless cheer....
- [After class, Saito grabs Kasamatsu's arm as he leaves the lecture
hall.]
- Saito:
- Looks like I owe you a tempura dinner!
- Kasamatsu:
- [Distracted.] Huh?
- Saito:
- Come on, I saw you writing notes to Kimura-san during
class! [Winks at him.] Lucky guy, you must've been a real
charmer last night!
- Kasamatsu:
- [Sadly.] You just don't understand it at all....
- Saito:
- [Confused as he watches his friend's retreating back.]
...
- [Kasamatsu walks along the University commons, stopping as he
notices the sun shining down, and the pleasantly cool breeze. He
takes a deep breath, exhales, and a faint smile plays across his
lips.]
- Kasamatsu:
- [Musing wistfully.] Friends, huh?
If I left anyone off, my apologies. Any mistakes/embarrassing
faux pas are entirely my own. If there is anything here you must
flame, aim them at me and me alone.
Thank you for taking the time to read this episode of my series.
I have the next episode in the works.